"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Of snow and Christmas

The arrival of the pretty white stuff has me almost feeling ready. We have the front room done. Now it's just the family room & some odds and ends. Then I'll have Brandon get the tree box out of the garage. The kids get to put the tree up this year. I may rearrange a few things when all is said and done, but Brandon gets to wrap the lights & the kiddos will hang the ornaments. I'll have to save making a batch of rice crispy squares for that day. I'm thinking Friday. Should be fun.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Happy Sunday!

Sorry for the quiet around here. I haven't been able to type very well. Vern & I spent a chunk of our Thanksgiving day in the ER. Staph infection starting in my right pointer finger and moving up my arm. Lucky me. I went in for my last dose of intraveneous antibiotics yesterday, and now have no tubes in either hand. Yay! The owieness has mostly subsided, and things are getting back to normal.

Shall we play catch-up? Just some random schtuff going on around here.

Vern's great grandma Pulsipher passed away this weekend. The funeral is tomorrow. It was a good thing. She was ready and her family was prepared. I'm hoping Vern can get the time off work to be there.

We finally got the snow we've been promised lately. Kirsten & little Vern are outside enjoying it right now. Fun!

Thankskgiving dinner without mashed potatoes went fine. I did miss them, but the company more than made up for it. :)

The time spent waiting in the ER had me bored so I started reading one of Vern's books. Wizard's First Rule. I like it so far.

I finally got to try a cherry Hersheys Kiss. Mmmmmmmmm... Add those to the list of yumminess. :)

I found out that Vern has never had a twice baked potato. I plan to make him some in the near future. More yumminess.

I have no way to download pictures until I get a new card reader, so I can't share with you how cool the trees looked this morning, all covered in snow. You'll just have to believe me.

Happy Sunday!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!
We're headed to dinner in an hour or so.
I'm looking forward to time with family & yummy pie. :) I'm not too sure on Grandma's idea of baked potatoes instead of mashed, or no cooked veggies because she thinks nobody eats them. (I do. I will miss my green beans & glazed carrots.) I intend to have fun & enjoy my turkey anyway.
If anyone still makes it here besides me, happy Thanksgiving. May you enjoy good food and may you be surrounded by people that you love. :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

One of those days

This hasn't been the greatest Tuesday ever.

My computer wouldn't start this morning. It's still acting sick. It won't let me back stuff up, defrag or anything. All it has let me do today is hop online. It hangs when it starts & I haven’t been able to access any programs or files. Period. Ugh. Crossing my fingers that I don't lose anything on here. Scary stuff.

Been cleaning all day & can't say I'm done. Looks better, but not done. Sigh.

Vern took the phone to work with him. I have no idea why he does that. Having young children & no access to the outside world with exception of walking somewhere is not my idea of a good (or safe) time.

My kids have no school for the rest of the week. They seem to think this means that it's party time. There will be no partying in this house until it's in a presentable state. At this rate it might take all week.

Elijah is suffering from his first diaper rash. This isn't just a minor little rash either. It's seriously owie-looking mushy skin in the folds. He's being a trooper about it. If it were my skin I'd be in tears. Thankfully he's as smiley and happy as ever.

Argh. As I was typing this our internet connection conked out. Goodness. Brandon says the little indicator light isn’t coming back on. Grrrrrrr… Good thing I can copy and paste into MS Word. I will stop typing when I’m good and ready. Ha.

My tummy is indicating that rice crispy squares do not make for a satisfactory dinner. Breakfast, yes. Dinner no. Maybe I’ll make taco soup. It’s quick, simple and yummy. Not as yummy as the hires burger I’m craving, but it’s not like I can call Vern & make any requests.

It’s a good thing that I have the yummiest little babe asleep on my lap. It’s hard to proclaim myself in a bad mood with his sweetness so close. And Brandon is helping little Vern clean up his big mess in the toy room. Hopefully Vern can figure my computer woes out and can easily fix it. Tonight. I will promptly back everything up.

So far this hasn’t been a great day. Thankfully it isn’t over yet. I wonder if I’ll even be able to post this before today ends. No light as of yet. Stink-o-rama.

Ahhhhhh... Vern came home & was able to make my computer happy. A dead cpu fan & wonky card reader were the trouble causers. His phone call with our isp tech support seemed to fix the internet connection just fine. Now if only either one of us were in a good mood.

I think some Pepsi & a good dose of Elijah's squishy hugs are in order. Mmmmmmmm...

Zzzzzzzzz...

That will be me in just a few minutes. Before I go to bed tonight I figured I'd better write something. It's been a few days. Slacking in the blog department again.

You know how I've been doing the giving thanks thing this month in honor of thanksgiving? Well, I was thinking about it today (Thanksgiving, the spirit of giving thanks, that sort of thing...)
Anyhow, I decided that being thankful means being happy with what you have.

What a wonderful thought for me to start the holiday season with. My family's needs are met. We're together & happy. We have so much to be thankful for.

There are so many things I want for Christmas. I want a new tree & decorations. I want all kinds of baking goodies and the ability to shower my loved ones with lots of gifts. I want Vern home more. I want my diamond ring. :) lol Realistically, those things are not likely to happen. I realized that not only is it okay - but I'm happy nonetheless.
Truly happy.
As-is.
A good feeling.


Goodnight. :o)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Slacker

Yep, that's what I am. Every day I think of what I'm going to post, and lately it seems like I get around to actually posting it the next day or so.

I'm trying to gather pictures of my kids for my parents and for Vern's family. Can you believe that with the hundreds of pictures I take of my kids, my dad doesn't have a picture of Elijah on his wall yet? My mom doesn't either. Nor do Vern's parents or grandparents. Nothing. We have been horrible about getting our own stuff printed. I figure now is a good time to fix that.

So I'd pulled up this picture of Elijah & liked it in color, but Brandon liked the black & white better. Now I can't decide. Color or black & white?
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The color version is straight from the camera & the bw is only converted and toned.

I have smiley looking at the camera pics too, but love the shallow depth of field, light & mood here. If for noone else but me & my bare walls. ;) Now to figure out which version to get done.

I actually wrote more here - analyzing the two & talking technicalities, but erased it in favour of other people's opinions. If this were your baby & picture which version would you print?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Perfect Autumn Day

So this was the view looking east out my back door this morning. (I cropped as much as I could of the neighbor's roof.) It's a beautiful, sunny day. Sweater weather. A perfect Autumn day. We're going to borrow my in-laws rake and take care of the huge mess of leaves in the front yard this afternoon. Should be fun. There's hot chocolate and a new pan of rice crispy treats for afterwards.

Bliss.

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Today I'm thankful for Nina & Vern. My in-laws.
They're truly awesome people who do so much for us and whom I find myself grateful for on a daily basis.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This Kid. (yesterday's entry)

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B. That's what I call him. He's my oldest. In some ways I'm more protective of him than any of my children.
He was my first. He was my miracle baby. A rough start that we won't go into. (I don't recommend having babies in Canada. *shudder*) Truly, him making it here is a miracle.
Then he spent two weeks in traction at the hospital at 8 months old after surgery on a septic hip. What a trooper. I believe it was that surgery that did damage to his bladder. His bladder has scar tissue, nerve damage and deperately needs to be operated on to funtion normally. We were told he has to wait until he's 18. He handles it well. We're waiting patiently.
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Anyhow, he was there in Toronto. Somehow he made it through my single mommyhood, those years when I was young and still working on growing up. Through the college years where we rented one room, and he slept next to me while I did homework by candlelight. Where we left for the bus stop at 5:30 every morning and got home between 6:30 & 7:00 every night. Where I pulled him in the wagon to get groceries & he'd sit on the case of pepsi on the way home. It was just the two of us. We had fun.
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Then came Vern. We came to Utah. I think Brandon has enjoyed having a dad in his life. Vern and Brandon have developed a good relationship. It's been a good thing. I don't know what I would have done if I'd still been a single mom when Brandon had his grand mal seizure in third grade and we found out he had epilepsy. It was such an emotional, difficult time. He had to go off of the meds for his neurogenic bladder and start taking seizure medicine. He hasn't had a seizure since then. He weaned himself off of the meds after a couple of years because they made him out-of it and tired all of the time. (Um yeah, narcotics will do that to you.)
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I believe he's grown out of epilepsy like some kids do. Still crossing my fingers that that is the case. We need to get him tested to be sure. He certainly seems to be better than ever, especially these last few years - since coming off the meds. He started growing well again, is awesome at school & in sports. You'd never know to look at him that this kid has had physical struggles. He doesn't look sickly. He's athletic and has the appetite of a teenaged boy.
He's been through a lot in his 14 years.
Emotional & physical trials. Things most kids his age can't imagine. Yet he's so strong. He's my hero in many ways. He sets an amazing example to his younger siblings by being helpful, always willing to work and be there for me. I can't imagine taking care of my babes without him. Vern works a lot of hours. Brandon ends up being the one to help care for them. Everything from making meals some days, changing diapers and just about any household chore. He's simply amazing. He has a great attitude. He's an amazing young man. My B.
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I love this kid.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Grey Friday

Happy Friday! It's a grey & rainy sort of day here.

I haven't had any pepsi in awhile. I need to pour me some. A headache is brewing.

It's after 5:00. I hope Vern gets to leave work soon. His smile would do my mood wonders.

I have my "calm" music list going. I think I need to create a new "happy" one. I could use a dose of happy.

I think I'm going to make some cake-mix cookies.
Mmmmmm... There's some happy right there.

Here's a picture for today. My Elijahboo.

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Today I'm thankful for Elijah's hugs, Kirsten's singing, Brandon's kindness & LV's kisses. And hopefully soon, Vern's smile. :)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

2 boys, 1 camera, 5 minutes.

Voila! A post on my nothing to say day.

Cute little feet.
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Love how LV plays with Elijah. Love these boys.Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Nothing, really.

Some days I just don't have anything to say. This seems to be one of those. I did want to give my daily thanks though.

Thank you Vern, for being the official parent today, and dealing with our kids' school stuff.
Thank you Nina for enabling our children to go to private school. You're simply amazing.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Time well spent.

Cuddling with Elijah.
Making waffles for breakfast.
Making my bed.
Gathering family pictures to send to my mom.
Blogging.

Okay, I haven't accomplished much yet today. I'll blame it on my headache.

My days for the most part really aren't very exciting. House stuff. Kids stuff. Photography stuff. Looking at things I really am very lucky. I have time with my kids that some people only dream of. I get to structure my own days and choose for myself what I do with my time. (There are some limits there of course, especially for a person who lives in Utah and doesn't drive.) I'd like to say that I'm always organized, motivated and such, but, um no. I wish. Hopefully though, for the most part my time is well spent. I think so.

Something worth keeping tabs on.

I must say, I dislike it when Vern comes home & asks me what I did that day on a day where the house isn't spotless. As though the fact that his children are happy, clean, fed and such don't count. Of course he can tell when I have a big cleaning day, but I think that the days where I spend more time playing with the kiddos are just as important. Again, I think that time with them is time well spent. Even if it means that some household chore gets put on hold.

As for today, I have a busy one ahead to catch up after a slow start. I must say though, that I've enjoyed having Elijah nap here on my lap as I typed. Now if LV will come and kiss my headache away maybe we can get some noticable stuff done around here. Preferably before Vern comes home from work.

A couple of things I'm thankful for today...

The sunshine coming through my window.
Patience. Especially on the part of little Vern who quietly played on the floor in my room this morning as I struggled to wake up & get out of bed.
That nobody (but my own kiddos) can see me sitting here in my PJs. I love PJ days.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Giving thanks.

Sophia must have been reading my mind. She posted a challenge for people to include in their blogs things they are thankful for throughout November. I was thinking about the things I'm thankful for when I created this earlier today.
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I guess since I got these things out of the way today I'll have the fun task of thinking up different things to offer my thanks for throughout the month. If I can do this challenge after sharing all of these up front you can too. From here on out though I think I'll limit myself to 1 or 2 per day. :)

At least the snacks are healthy up there.

The teacher in Kirsten's sunday school class yesterday gave them family tree handouts to color. There were two spaces at the bottom to draw their mom and dad, then there were 5 spaces up in the tree for the kiddos. As Kirsten was showing me hers & I oohed and ahhhhed over her artwork the conversation went something like this.

Kirsten: "I messed up on daddy's hair."
Me: "That's okay hun, that's a great picture of him anyway. So who's who up here?"
Kirtsen: "That's Brandon, that's me, that's little Vern & this is Elijah."
Me: "So why are there bananas & apples in the other slot?"
Kirsten: "In case we get hungry being stuck up there in the tree."

lol

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Slow Down Baby

My baby is growing up so fast. He learns new things every day. Sometimes I wish he'd slow down. Just a little.

This story starts with a mommy moment.

You know those times when you have to use the rest room realllllly bad, but aren't sure what to do with the baby in your arms? Where the thoughts running through your head are "What can I strap him into? Maybe I can put him *insert brilliant place here* and he won't get into anything. Would he be too cold in the bathtub?" I had one of those a month ago. (Well, I have them all of the time, but this particular one was a month ago.) Anyhow, lucky me. Little Vern was home too. So I asked my 4 year old to please watch my 6 month old and make sure he didn't go anywhere or get into anything. I left them both in the front room.

Immediately the crying ensued. Elijah didn't want me to leave his sight. 3 stairs & 1 hall was too far away. Little Vern was slacking at his job. He decided to play cars in the hall by the bathroom instead of watching his baby brother. Not a great babysitter. Go figure.

So Elijah took matters into his own hands. He managed to climb the 3 stairs to find us. I was shocked and amazed that he was able to do it without getting hurt his first try, but he sure did. He made it all of the way to the bathroom door. LV was yelling "Mom! Look, Elijah climbed the stairs!!" While reprimanding the would-be babysitter I scooped Elijah up. I hugged him & kissed him and told him what a big boy he was. And secretly wished he'd slow down just a little.

In the following days we tried to show people his new trick. He'd sort of try and sort of do it, but without being upset and really wanting to get up those stairs it was all half-hearted. But he did get lots of practice as we prodded him on trying to get him to perform his amazing new trick.

Those three stairs are now just a regular part of his routine. He makes it up them whenever he decides to. There just needs to be something he wants or somewhere he wants to go beyond them. The buttons on my camera the other day were enough of a nudge to get these shots. We'll have to teach him how to get down soon.

Sigh. Slow down Elijah. You're only a baby for such a short while.

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

My silly one.

Little Vern loves to have his picture taken, but it's hard to get one with a nice smile. It's not that he won't smile for the camera, it's that he does it between a billion other poses and goes a mile a minute. If he stays still at all it's only until he hears the click. Then he's trying something different. Sometimes I wish I had a quieter camera shutter. I wouldn't change the boy one bit though. Him I love as-is.
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Mmmmm...

I love being lost in a good moment. The kind where you're smiling for no reason, and everything feels as though it is as it should be.

I got to sleep in this morning. Brandon watched Elijah and LV for me. Bliss.

Elijah is in his bouncer. Singing, talking, making lots of noise. He can really make that thing go.

Brandon is making me a bean & veggie burrito for lunch. Even though he hates beans. Thanks B. :)

Went rollerblading this morning since Brandon is home from school. I'm sore but think I should do it every day. Weather permitting, of course.

It's beautiful outside today. Sunny, and that perfect fall walking temperature.

LV is watching Sesame Street. With no shirt on. He is so LV. :)

My favorite chunky shoes are sitting under my desk. I love them - they make me almost 2 inches taller.

Without hesitating I gave Brandon all of our leftover trick-or-treater candy today. No temptations for me!

I'm going to call Vern just to say hi. Love his voice. Love that man.

Hope anyone who reads this has a fabulous day. I think I'm going to.