"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Friday, May 30, 2008

Happy Friday!

I get to meet up with Laurie & Ty for our photo shoots this afternoon and tomorrow. I'm all excited to be working with them. Looks like the weather will be nicer than it was last weekend, all warm & sunny - and there are no outdoor receptions being held at thanskgiving point, so we'll have access to the whole thing and be able to do everything we wanted for the bridals tomorrow. Yay!I was looking for a pic of Lauren I hadn't shared here yet & found this one. lol Go Elijah!

Well I'm bound to have some fun this weekend, I hope that all of you blog readers have some fun in store too! :)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Stormy Thursday

It's dark gray, windy & rainy with some great thunder 'n lightning going on. I was enjoying the awesome breeze through my window & the sound of the storm so much it took me forever to get out of bed. Days like today I do wish I had a car (and the ability to drive it of course) because LV is afraid to walk to school in this. Hopefully things will calm down before it's time to go. Meanwhile I'm not getting dressed just yet. Hanging out in bed watching the trees outside my window & enjoying the cool air still sounds so yummy.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

hooray :)

Hooray for Tuesday, long weekends, sunshine, vanilla yogurt, Elijah, my comfy t-shirt, mp3s and cheesy bean & rice burritos.

Monday, May 26, 2008

finding words

Vern keeps having to tell people that I’m not feeling well to explain why I’m in bed and not playing and doing my usual stuff. Then I have people thinking I’m sick in a “get better” kind of way, and while I will get feeling better at some point the *sick* thing feels misleading. I’m healthy enough, just not feeling well. :p I’ve been so wiped out lately. Spending way too much time in bed for multiple reasons – to deal with the insane nausea, to force myself to relax and breathe & because I’m just so tired anyway that my pillow almost always sounds like a good idea. I wish there was an easy way to explain how I feel at this stage of pregnancy. I’m used to the effects of iron deficiency anemia in general, but something about what my body’s doing at this stage just knocks me out. (It’s probably something to do with the change in blood volume.) I was trying to explain it to Vern the other day and all I could come up with is that I almost feel poisoned or something. My circulatory system feels so sluggish & I have an even harder time breathing than usual. It’s an off, weird kind of feeling that I have a horrible time explaining, but if you see me wrapped in my blanket somewhere crying for no apparent reason then I’m having a hard time dealing with the overall ickiness. :p Would be nice if I wasn’t also so very barfy & tired at this point. I’m grateful that my family is understanding and don’t force me to find ways to fully function every moment of every day. I have moments where I do, but I’ve been kind of out of it & missing my friends. I’m lucky though, LV & Ej with all of their cuddles & kisses are like magic, Kirsten writes me cute letters and draws me pictures that make me smile, Brandon takes good care of me & watches out for the other kiddos and Vern is willing to do late night Taco Bell runs when I suddenly have an appetite. Can’t really ask for more. Except maybe a laptop so I can try to do my dailies in bed? lol Yeah, that’d be perfect.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

rained out

We ended up postponing this weekend's photo shoots thanks to the weather forecasts. It's supposed to be kinda cold and rainy all weekend. Of course, at the moment it looks beautiful out, but it's Utah so you never know. :p

I haven't done a meme in awhile so I found a quick one.

What kind of mood are you in right now?
Sleepy lol. Went to bed at 7 am and it took forever to fall asleep. :p
What kind of music suits your current mood?
Well, I’m listening to Papa Roach and it’s working for me, so yeah.
You’re buying tickets for your next vacation. Where are you in the mood to go?
Sicely, Italy. Beautiful area & architecture, with lots of awesome photos waiting to be taken and absolutely yummy food. Sounds just about perfect.
We’re going out to lunch – where are you in the mood to go?
Mmmmm… Hires sounds really good right now. :)
What's for dessert?
Hmmm... The vanilla bean cheesecake at tgiFriday's is always yummy, but if I'm gonna be at Hires, their milkshakes are the bestest - so a chocolate malt please. :)
And after lunch?
A nap? lol Mostly kidding. Actually swimming & a workout at the rec center sounds awesome. Need to throw some heroics in there too - Arinne needs badges.

So uh, yeah. Not sure what we're really doing today. Vern was wanting to plant a garden this morning, but he's glued to his computer still. Lauren just called and we might go scope out the gardens where we're doing her bridals, and I'm trying really hard not to log into WoW until I know what's going on. Once I get to play I want me some serious playtime. :p

Happy Saturday blog readers!

Friday, May 23, 2008

today just might be

...the barfiest day ever. I feel so icky it's unbelievable. I'm grateful that Elijah is content to cuddle, eat apple jacks & watch kids' tv, because if he needed much more from me atm I'd be in trouble.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

kisses


A good day is measured by the smiles, hugs & kisses recieved from the people you love.

Today must be a fabulous day, because it's early and I've lost count of all of those things.

Have a great day! :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Woohoo!

America got it right on AI!
Kirsten & I both cheered at the
announcement & Elijah joined in. :)

Had to say it.
That's all.

getting wet

I ended up kind of taking yesteday off from proofing to play WoW and play with Ej, but I did almost finish going through Saturday's photos. Less than 100 to go! I sized a bunch of shots of Elijah & his uncle Nathan to share here, just because they had so much fun. :) He went on the boats with Devan later, but I haven't done those yet. :p I managed to do as I was asked, and get shots of everyone that went and then some. There are pics of everyone on the go carts, people getting wet & just hanging out. I even took some shots in the arcade. My sunburn has faded to a tan & I'll have these pics all done with lots of time before the engagement shoot Friday & bridals on Saturday. That statement should probably serve as fair warning that I'm about to be buried in my favorite kind of work. :)

Have a great day! :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Buried

I've been editing & working on photos in ps all day so far and still have a gazillion to go. We had a fun weekend & I took so many pics that people are hoping I'll have ready asap, so I need to keep working. Just wanted to pop my head in here & let people know I'm still alive, just working hard to get a few things done. I think I sized a couple pics for the web - so I'll share a little preview of what I have done so far from Saturday.
Sadly I haven't gotten to the ones of Elijah & his uncles on the bumper boats - he had so much fun! Love that shot of my neice Morgan though, and have some great ones of Lauren & Ty getting wet too. Just 400 more shots to sift through. :p

Have a great day!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

the speedy type

It's kind of a busy day today. Kirsten has a school performance tonight at 7, right about when Nina's picking Kenyon up from the airport. Nina must be tired, Kori went to the ER last night with tummy pains. Hope she's doing ok. Anyway, I'll make this one speedy. :)

The size meme

Do you supersize your fast food meals?
Nope. I do get the biggest drink sometimes, but that’s it.
What size is your waist?
I honestly don’t know my measurement, but if I touch my fingertips in the middle of my lower back I can wrap my thumbs around my sides. My hands aren’t very big. :p
If you could guess the size of your heart it would be…?
I don’t know. My capacity to love is pretty big I guess. Is that what that meant? I dunno. :p
What size is your family?
There are 6 of us at the moment – the 7th will arrive in January or so. :) Growing up there were 4 of us – my mom & us 3 kids.
Does size matter?
*Cough* Uh, serious? :p It depends. Other stuff factors in.
What size shoe do you wear?
7 1/2

And because it's not a fun entry without a picture, here's one of Elijah being silly at sunset.lol He looks so much like Vern as a kiddo there. I needed some sort of shocking statement to go with it to make the expression fit, but I've got nothing. :p

Have a great day! :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

belated gifts :)

Little Vern missed school on Friday and Monday thanks to our little family cold thing we've had going on, so he brought my Mother's Day present home yesterday.The card was awesome. It says...
My mom is the most wonderful mom in the world! Her name is April. She is as pretty as a flower. She is 35 years old. She has brown eyes and brown hair. She weighs 8 pounds and is as tall as my dad tall. Her favorite food is cheese pizza. Her favorite television show is American Idol. In the good old days when she was little she used to play with toys. I think my mom is funny when she is never funny. But I know she's really angry when my mom and dad get into a fight. I wouldn't trade my mom for a bike. I love my mom because she always gives me kisses and hugs.

I'm sad about the never funny thing, but 8 pounds, woohoo!

Oh, a quick little sidenote before I go - I don't think my neighbors liked the new plan to go for a walk when I'm crazy nauseous instead of sleeping it off. It didn't go amazingly well this morning. :p

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

a quick boring one

I've been a little awol from a lot of things of late, including my blog. Just finishing cleaning all the sniffley junk out of my head and trying to figure out how to manage this constant nausea & inability to breathe very well that will dominate my life the next few months. This is my least favorite part of pregnancy, only becuase my anemia affects me so much at this point, as does the icky morning sickness. It's so funny being out shopping and stuff - I look like a perfectly healthy non-pregnant girl & yet I'm stopping every 10 minutes to sit & breathe so I don't pass out and grabbing some little snack every 2 hours on the dot trying to stay level & not barf. At least Vern's been through this with me enough times to know by looking at me when to slow down so that I don't pass out and to be willing to stop for food whenever.

I'm also realizing that I've got to think of things besides naps when the nausea gets overwhelming. Sleeping it off sometimes is ok - but if I want to get anything done in the next while I need to find alternatives. lol Today Elijah & I went for a walk. It was nice. I'll have to go the fresh air route more and the hug my pillow route less.

So yeah. I promised myself I wouldn't overwhelm my poor little blog with pregnancy talk. There's plenty of other stuff in the works. Like Lauren & Tyler's engagement & bridal sessions coming up, Kenyon coming home from England, WoW to play and whatever fun stuff we decide to do as the weather gets warmer & the school year winds down.

Well, Elijah keeps talking about Taco Bell & I think he's got a yummy little idea there. I also have to do a couple more sets to finish my upper body day so off I go.

Have a great day! :)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope that all of the mommies out there are having a great day!

Friday, May 09, 2008

one last happy

Up front apologies for the superlong entry. Blurting things out just so isn't me. No pictures this time either. My poor blog. lol

Last weekend I started telling Vern that he was so in trouble and by Sunday I was pretty sure he really was – so much so that I eventually stopped smiling and teasing. I broke down and cried and told him a brand new secret. He initially thought I was mad at him. I’m really not, and he knows that now. I was just dealing with a little bit of shock & a whole lot of emotion and he received the initial reaction full-on. Earlier this week I wrote a little something while I was still working things out. Sharing what I wrote is probably the easiest way to explain what was up. Here goes…

I’ve always known that five was the number that felt right. I’ve fought it some these last few years, wanting to reclaim myself after the first four. I’ve even come up with some awesome excuses. Many factors make me so very high risk – really, it’s not an easy thing to ask of me. I’ve waffled back & forth so much but have never been able to completely close the door on the idea of #5. After all, five feels right whether I embrace all that comes with it or not.

This timing is NOT of my choice. I was so not prepared to give up my bathing suit for a barf bowl this summer. There were things I wanted done that will have to be put off – goals that will have to be shelved for a moment. As a person I was facing in a completely different direction.
Maybe that’s why it happened now.
I’ve never cried upon figuring out this sort of news before. I did this time. I reacted as if I had lost some sort of battle. I’m so not prepared to discuss my personal battles here, but will say that I’m able to fully embrace the outcome of this one. It’s not a loss – just a shift in thinking.
Seventeen years of mommyhood & I had started thinking about my own life a bunch. I was trying to shift focus and concentrate on some things that were important to me.
Prematurely, it seems.

I love my kiddos, I really do. Being a mom is the most amazing gift there is. I’m excited that my fifth and final baby is on his or her way as I’m reminded once again that even in my own little world things don’t revolve around me. I’m grateful that deep down I know what’s important. I hope to be physically & emotionally strong through one more pregnancy. I hope I can find ways to work towards my personal goals while focusing on bringing this baby into our family in the healthiest, safest way possible. For both of us.

I’m not all that excited at the prospect of being sick. I may have days where the ideas and things that are not yet to be are mourned. Strictly following the diabetic nutritional guidelines for 9 whole months may have me grumpy some days. lol Consider this fair warning. ;) I’d ask those of you who are willing to put up with me over the next 9 months for your support and love. Those closest around me will need it too. lol


…So I wrote that a couple of days ago. Surprise?! :) Yeah it was one. I’m feeling better about things at this point. The mommy in me that completely adores my babes & embraces the fact that they are my happy has slowly taken over. I did cry this morning when the smell of diet pepsi made me gag. :p This morning was also when I took a pregnancy test, smiled when I saw the 2 lines & yelled “I knew it!" Ha, I did. Even though I’ve been dealing with this horrid sinus stuff all week – sleeping days away, feeling so rough and fighting fevers, there was this underlying aversion to food combined with the need to eat every few hours (hungry or not) to keep the nausea at bay. Yeah – there’s no mistaking my morning sickness, even when I’m curled up in a ball in my blankie fighting a fever of 102 and wishing my head would explode already. Yeah it’s been quite a week. But being alone and out of it gave me lots of thinking time. Absorption time. Yes, I’m really feeling like this. Yes I’m pretty damn sure what this is. Yeah, I think it’ll be okay. :) Maybe we’ll even get the little girl that I was so sure Elijah was. Or maybe not. Four boys and one girl wouldn’t be so bad. Yeah. One more babe. Number 5.
One last happy. :)

Still Friday

Yeah, 2 posts in one day. Crazy huh? I just didn't have much to say this morning. Not sure that I do now, but I thought of a picture I could share that doesn't involve sore noses or sick kiddos. It's the park at the end of our street the other evening when Kirsten & I went for a walk.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

a few good things

laughter
friends who make you smile,
even on the cruddiest of days
sunshine on bare skin
hugs from someone you love
the sound of rain during
a comfy nap, complete

with a breeze coming in
my window mmmmm...
4 hours of WoW time on
Leilah where presence of
mind was stuck on ...beautiful!
late night quiet time
:)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

achoo

I figured I'd pop my achey 'n stuffy head in here before I go back to bed. Stayed conscious for a whole kara run, but as soon as my nyquil hits away I go to lala land. :p I've been fighting a fever all day and am just so grateful for kiddos who are helpful when I'm out of commision, a hubby who came home bearing ginger ale just for me & friends who made sitting at my computer and staying awake fun & worthwhile. :)

nighty night blog readers :)

Monday, May 05, 2008

5 minutes with mom

The other day Kirsten & I did a little quickie session while waiting for the pizza guy. As usual I took way too many pics. lol I made her take her hair out of her ponytail for a bunch. It's almost as long as mine. (We're both dying to get our hair cut - but I'm hoping she'll keep some length. If I have my way mine's getting chopped way shorter for the summer. Hers is just so pretty though. I hope she keeps it long-ish.)
Anyway, I haven't processed very many pics just yet. It's beautiful out and I'm thinking that we should get us some sun while the laundry's going. Here's a couple of the shots I've looked at so far though.She kept climbing the plum trees and doing flips off the lower branches. I guess all of my kiddos are monkeys - even my little tomboy. Maybe even especially my KirstieLeigh. :)

Happy Monday blog readers!

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Some random Saturday thoughts

I slept in this morning. Mmmm…
Elijah’s excited to be going to the park.
I am in a much better mood today.
My tulips finally bloomed.
I made me a new anklet. It’s sparkly!
LV stayed home to keep me company this morning.
It’s sunny again. Yay! :)
There’s chocolate in the house, just in case.
My abs are sore from yesterday’s workout. I love that feeling. :)
This screenshot makes me smile.
I’m craving a quiznos sub.
It’s Saturday, it’s nice out and I have a whole day ahead of me.

Have a great one!

Friday, May 02, 2008

chocolate, cuddles & bubblebaths ftw

Normally I love Fridays.
Today was an exception.

Elijah still isn’t feeling well.
He & LV have both been
whiney & grumpy all day.
My head has been
explodey-like all evening.
I logged into WoW hoping
that being social would help.
lol I failed horribly.
I actually felt worse by the
time I gave up & logged off.
:p :p :p
A friend tried to call
and that just didn’t work
with my kiddos all screaming
and stuff right then,
and after going too long
without eating I got all
shakey & grumpy.
I was looking forward to
our ZA run after dinner and
people didn’t show up.
Again.


So here’s the plan…
After I finish
my little bowl
of
cherry chocolate chip
ice cream
goodness
I’m gonna go lock myself
in
the bathroom
with my ipod and

some yummy smelling bubbles.
Then I’m putting on some
comfy pj's and taking
some Nyquil for my
headache
& sore throat
before I find my sweet babe
and cuddle with him until
we both fall asleep.

So there.
Happy Friday! :)

Nevermind TGIF - for me tonight it's more like
thankgoodnessforbubblebathscomfypjschocolate&cuddles.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

here we go again...

Elijah caught the cold that B & I have had. He's all feverish and sleepy today. I've been holding him and letting him watch videos on my computer, but he just looked at me and asked if he could sleep in my bed, so I guess we'll go cuddle up there until he falls asleep. Poor little guy. :( I'm freezing and have a sore throat again today anyway so cuddles & blankets sound awesome to me too. Once he's all comfy & sleeping I should really get a workout in.
I've been such a slacker. :p We shall see. :)

Have a great day!