finding words

Vern keeps having to tell people that I’m not feeling well to explain why I’m in bed and not playing and doing my usual stuff. Then I have people thinking I’m sick in a “get better” kind of way, and while I will get feeling better at some point the *sick* thing feels misleading. I’m healthy enough, just not feeling well. :p I’ve been so wiped out lately. Spending way too much time in bed for multiple reasons – to deal with the insane nausea, to force myself to relax and breathe & because I’m just so tired anyway that my pillow almost always sounds like a good idea. I wish there was an easy way to explain how I feel at this stage of pregnancy. I’m used to the effects of iron deficiency anemia in general, but something about what my body’s doing at this stage just knocks me out. (It’s probably something to do with the change in blood volume.) I was trying to explain it to Vern the other day and all I could come up with is that I almost feel poisoned or something. My circulatory system feels so sluggish & I have an even harder time breathing than usual. It’s an off, weird kind of feeling that I have a horrible time explaining, but if you see me wrapped in my blanket somewhere crying for no apparent reason then I’m having a hard time dealing with the overall ickiness. :p Would be nice if I wasn’t also so very barfy & tired at this point. I’m grateful that my family is understanding and don’t force me to find ways to fully function every moment of every day. I have moments where I do, but I’ve been kind of out of it & missing my friends. I’m lucky though, LV & Ej with all of their cuddles & kisses are like magic, Kirsten writes me cute letters and draws me pictures that make me smile, Brandon takes good care of me & watches out for the other kiddos and Vern is willing to do late night Taco Bell runs when I suddenly have an appetite. Can’t really ask for more. Except maybe a laptop so I can try to do my dailies in bed? lol Yeah, that’d be perfect.