"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Trying

...to wake Kirsten up to go running
...to get into some sort of sleep schedule that works so I can function enough for my kiddos and still work enough hours. And have a little me time. I miss being able to play more. I seriously miss my friends.
...to reassure Maiah that when I leave the house it's not for forever. She has such a hard time when I leave for work every night. She's so sweet, and I'm really worried about her in the upcoming months - well really for the rest of her life. I don't want the divorce to cause her issues (truthfully, probably already has) and am really trying to find ways to reassure her and show her how important she is (all my monkeys are) to me as the changes start happening. I'm grateful that Vern & I get along well enough to have taken things slowly, but it's time for some of the big changes, and for the reality of how things are going to be to set in. Crossing my fingers and praying something fierce for the sake of my monkeys.
...to show all of the important people in my life what they mean to me. When stuff gets hard I go into this internal mode. I just deal, you know? Really don't want to shut people who matter out of my life just because I'm having a moment.
...to wake Kirsten up! Been trying since just after 5. C'mon girl! It's only gonna get hotter the later it gets.
...to save. To move. To save for the move. Yeah.
...to get to where I can run for as long as I used to before having to walk a minute. It's frustrating to lose something like that. December 1st will come fast enough, so I must keep running. And Lauren, hope you've started! lol :)
...to feel strong. And find my confidence. And find some pudding. Yeah, pudding.
...Okay, I need to go do something to get that girl moving. We could be halfway done with our miles by now.

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