"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Monday, December 31, 2012

2012

Whoa, all of my posts for 2012 fit on the front page of my blog- there were like 6 of them. o.O
I'm so sorry that I spent the year in quiet mode. That's how I deal when things get rough, and it was that kind of year. The divorce is now final, and while it's sad I really do feel like it was the healthiest thing I could do for myself & my family. It hasn't been easy, but it will be a good thing. I've learned how to let go of all kinds of hurt. People who'd been unkind, ungracious, mean or ungrateful toward me have received absolutely none of my energy. I'm trying really hard to focus on the things that matter, and surround myself with people who care. I don't have a lot of real friends, but the ones I have are precious. I'm hoping to write more this coming year, and to pick my camera back up. This is still my favorite place to share. It's mine, and I like it that way. :)

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Trying

...to wake Kirsten up to go running
...to get into some sort of sleep schedule that works so I can function enough for my kiddos and still work enough hours. And have a little me time. I miss being able to play more. I seriously miss my friends.
...to reassure Maiah that when I leave the house it's not for forever. She has such a hard time when I leave for work every night. She's so sweet, and I'm really worried about her in the upcoming months - well really for the rest of her life. I don't want the divorce to cause her issues (truthfully, probably already has) and am really trying to find ways to reassure her and show her how important she is (all my monkeys are) to me as the changes start happening. I'm grateful that Vern & I get along well enough to have taken things slowly, but it's time for some of the big changes, and for the reality of how things are going to be to set in. Crossing my fingers and praying something fierce for the sake of my monkeys.
...to show all of the important people in my life what they mean to me. When stuff gets hard I go into this internal mode. I just deal, you know? Really don't want to shut people who matter out of my life just because I'm having a moment.
...to wake Kirsten up! Been trying since just after 5. C'mon girl! It's only gonna get hotter the later it gets.
...to save. To move. To save for the move. Yeah.
...to get to where I can run for as long as I used to before having to walk a minute. It's frustrating to lose something like that. December 1st will come fast enough, so I must keep running. And Lauren, hope you've started! lol :)
...to feel strong. And find my confidence. And find some pudding. Yeah, pudding.
...Okay, I need to go do something to get that girl moving. We could be halfway done with our miles by now.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

July 4th

...there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA!!!

I just got home from work, had me some quick breakfast and am about ready to get a nap in before today's festivities, but wanted to check in quick and wish all of my American friends a happy Fourth of July! Be proud, be safe & have fun!

/squishes

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

It's not a secret.

It's just private, and concerns people who matter, and so it's not up for public discussion. 


Yes, Vern & I are getting divorced. Yep, I am the one filing. It's not something new - it's been in the works for more than 2 years, and it isn't a changeable thing. It just is what it is, and it's ours. It isn't easy, fun or something to be gossiped about. I won't be blogging about it or sharing any sort of private details with the general public in any manner. BUT it isn't a secret. It's a fact & I don't like feeling like it is being tiptoed around. It's okay to know. 


So there. :)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I used to blog...

And I will again! I hadn't meant to take a break like that, but sometimes actual life gets in the way of things whether you like it or not. I never did stop blogging in my head or heart - just never made it to my desk to share the thoughts. I just have to start sitting back down at my computer and finding the words again. I finally joined facebook too, although I'm as active there as here really. :p Things change, but I still have thoughts & ideas and hope to find myself sharing them more often.

/hugs!!!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Double Overtime



Last night's Jazz/Raptors game was fantabulous. The Raptors won in double overtime. Was pretty awesome for the 4 of us yelling and screaming our heads off for Toronto in the sea of Jazz fans. So fun! :)

And I'm sorry there hasn't been a Maiah birthday entry yet. (She did have an awesome one!) The lack of blogging isn't for want of things to say, it's more about lack of energy and such. I'll get to where I'm doing better at these things again. Thanks for hanging in there. :)

Hugs!

Friday, January 06, 2012

Happy 2012!

I can't believe I'm this late, but Happy New Year!
I have no awesome entry ideas, pictures or anything, but I do have me a cherry zero and a tootsie roll. :p Hope those of you still checking in have had an awesome start to your new year. Cheers! :)