"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Friday, June 29, 2007

Friday?!

Wow, I haven't blogged since Wednesday? Well I guess I haven't been at my computer much. They did my fil's back surgery yesterday. 6 hours, some metal rods, bone cement and a cage later (support & protection for his spine) and he should be able to walk again. There's no more pressure on his spine from that tumor, and already today he can feel his feet & lift his leg. Yesterday was rough, but the news today that he has some control over his legs was awesome. :)

Kirsten is officially done with fourth grade and ready to play all Summer long.

Brian flew up from AZ to spend time with his dad this week. It was good to have him there yesterday. We didn't get to be there for their moving to AZ party since we were all sick at that point, so it's good to see 'em again.

Happy Friday blog readers! :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

5... 4... 3... 2... 1

5 reasons to smile
~Elijah just kissed me (He's finally feeling better. Yay!)
~After another rough night B let me sleep in
~Only 2 more days left of school for Kirsten
~There are popsicles in the freezer
~Daughtry just played
4 signs it's Summer
~I've got the swamp cooler blasting
~LV smells like suntan lotion
~Elijah's only worn a diaper for the last 2 days
~My kiddos keep asking to play in the sprinklers
3 things on my mind
~My dad-in-law. Nina called last night and let us know that they aren't releasing him just yet. He's lost control of his legs/feeling in his feet. He's seeing a neurologist & hopefully they'll figure out which tumor is causing it and be able to help him. (He has 3 tumors on his spine - the one big one and 2 smaller ones. I had no idea.)
~Nina. She's obviously dealing with a lot right now. My heart goes out to her.
~Vern. I said it here recently - he's their oldest child and has been awesome about stepping up and being there for them. He's had less sleep and more on his mind. I worry about him.
2 places I've visited online today
~I watched the roflmao video on youtube earlier for a laugh
~I plan on checking how the squirrelies are all doing. Gotta check the boards!
1 thing I would like before today is over.
~I really really really want some black licorice. Bassets allsorts please. :p

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Grateful for visits & seeking sleep.

Vern and I spent some time tonight visiting his dad up at the hospital. It was really good to see him. He's looking much better now and seeming more like himself. I was a little wrong in what I understood about this week's operation. They put titanium rods in that are supporting his broken femur, but didn't remove anything for now. They'll have to go back some time after his back surgery for a more permanent solution, but for now they have it stabilized. He's obviously in much less pain, which is awesome. Special thanks to Brandon, who watched the other kiddos - making them dinner, getting them all cleaned up and into bed while we were gone.

Actually, tonight I asked Vern to be a little more patient with Brandon, who's really been trying to help but can't always do everything as quickly and efficiently as Vern would like. I pointed out the similarities between the two of them. They're both the oldest child, the one who feels the weight and who steps up when mom and dad are struggling. I can't imagine how my little family would handle struggles without Brandon. He deals with stress and responsibility admirably and has the compassion to step in with the younger kids really well. Meanwhile Vern is doing his best to be there for his mom and dad. It's a little harder as an adult with various responsibilites, but both of these guys have my love & appreciation. Hopefully Vern will be little more aware of how things affect our own kiddos. Understandably he's been just a little busy on the flip-side. It would be nice if he'd be a little less short with us when he comes home though. We're all trying. We all love grandpa Vern and are dealing with things in our own individual ways.

I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I tried to last night. I even went to bed much earlier than usual, but ended up laying there checking the clock every half hour or so. I wish I knew how to shut my brain down at night when I'm stressed out. (Preferably without drugs. lol Vern's been threatening to make me take tylenol pm or something. :p No thanks.)

Friday, June 22, 2007

surgery

Today at noon my FIL had surgery on his leg. Earlier this week they did a few MRIs to find out what was causing him so much pain. The tumor on his back has only grown a little, but they found one on his femur that is eating at the bone. Correction, was eating at the bone. The surgery at noon today replaced the effectively broken bone with a metal rod. Hopefully he'll be able to walk without so much pain now. They're hoping to move up his back surgery too. For now though, I'm just waiting on the call that says he's out of surgery and recovering.

Happy Friday blog readers!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Distractions and Thanks

I wish I was a stronger person emotionally. I'm sure it doesn't look great when my reaction to the news that my FIL is back in the hospital is to play WoW. (He's back in the cancer institute after his latest bloodwork showed high calcium, a high risk indicator for heart attacks.) I welcomed the distraction of the game and company of a friend as I was trying not to cry. Maybe if I were stronger I'd have thought of something better to do with myself. I'm so worried about him. He looked like he'd lost even more weight on Sunday and is in obvious pain and having a hard time moving around. He still has harder surgeries to prepare for, so things like high calcium and heart attack risk just slow down the process of trying to get better. Continued prayers would be appreciated.

Apologies for blogging less. I'm stressed, worried, very tired and am not always sure what to say. I do want to thank those who've been kind and supportive through this. It makes a huge difference. It really does. Thank you.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

You didn't wanna know

...but I'm telling you anyway. I always feel bad when I disappear from the places people usually see me on a regular basis. I haven't been anywhere exciting. Unless you call sleeping 2 days away exciting.
I got a little cocky last night when I was able to sit up awhile without barfing. I thought to myself “whew! I feel better.” Then I got a little hungry and ate... It seemed to be going well, and I did manage to keep it down. Yay. :p (No more cocky April though – not quite 100% yet.)
So here I am today, able to sit up much better than previous days, but definitely not feeling up to eating anything. Vern is feeling better I think – he went back to work. B, who’s a day or so behind us with this is not doing so well. Fun!
So that’s the update. More than anybody out there wants to know I’m sure. lol
And here's a little something to help me through today. Some Daughtry. Yum.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Possible titles for this entry:

No Fun
Where I've Been
Sick Again
Hooray

Um yeah. It all started when Elijah up and barfed out of nowhere the other night. He didn't have any other symptoms, so I didn't make anything of it. Until yesterday. I woke up nauseous. It got worse throughout the day. I talked to Vern at work who said he felt awful too. I stayed in bed most of yesterday, and today has been the same. Whatever this bug is I'm not lovin' it. :p

Monday, June 11, 2007

What a weekend! Sorry for not blogging. Between the swimming, reading and playing I hardly ever sat at my computer. It's definately feeling like summer for the most part. Poor Kirsten still has a couple more weeks of school to go though. Vern's dad has now been home from the hospital a week. He's recovering really well and should be back to normal for a bit before his next surgery.
I've got mixed feelings watching Vern care for his dad. He's so loving, patient and just amazing with him. He has always jumped when his parents asked/needed, and its a great thing. There is this part of me that can't help comparing how he treats me to how he treats them and it's not a pretty comparison. It's not great timing for us to be struggling & fighting so I'm trying not to add to things, but somehow we've been fighting even more anyhow. It seems like that's just what we do. I guess we've got to take our frustrations out somewhere, right? :p
Well, that's what's been going on around here. A friend is shooting his first bridals next week & we were talking lighting. I was trying to explain backlight to him - how it can be so pretty with the veil/hair if you meter carefully so as not to silhouette but figure it's easier to show him. I only found 2 examples in my web file though. Maybe I should start going through my old stuff and make a web-ready portfolio of sorts that I can refer to. Anyhow, here ya go G.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

brrrrr...

Well it cooled down just in time to make today fun. We're headed to the pool & the high for the day here in SLC is supposed to be 51. Oh well, we're going anyway. My niece Abby is getting correctional casts on both feet tomorrow - today is her last chance to swim for awhile. I just need to pack sweats for everyone for when they get out of the pool. Brrrr...

Monday, June 04, 2007

Smile at someone today.

Actually, smile at everyone you come in contact with. If you're smiling you'll be having a good day no matter what you may have going on, and you just might brighten someone else's while you're at it.
"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important." ~Janet Lane
"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." ~unknown
"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give." ~Author Unknown

Special thanks to Lauren, who smiled at me when I pointed the camera in her direction.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Hug someone you love today.

It'll be good for both of you. :)

Friday, June 01, 2007

a request.

If anyone reading this is the praying type, I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep my father in law in mind today when you do. He has the first of his cancer surgeries this afternoon - removing the diseased kidney.

Thanks! Happy Friday.