Summer Fun

Growing up, I spent most of my summer days here.
Especially as a teenager. Life wasn't complete without a season's pass, and I have many fond memories of riding those roller coasters, eating pizza, watching fireworks, going to concerts with friends & riding the bus home. My first kiss happened there! Canada's Wonderland is a seriously awesome theme park. Utah doesn't have anything that comes close to being an equivalent. It just doesn't. There's Lagoon, but you can count on your fingers the number of decent rides there, and can walk the place in an hour or so. A little disappointing, but considering that Vern doesn't do rollercoasters, and my kids are mostly too young for them I'd probably be missing out anyway.
That's okay. Some things change, some things stay the same. We used to have fairs throughout the summer in mall parking lots in Toronto. Just some midway rides & games - but always fun to hang out with friends anyway. That's where my other summer love comes in...

Serena, Denise & I would go to the fair at Yonge & Steeles & ride the Zipper over, and over, and over again. I vividly remember the year when Serena was wearing her fgth relax t-shirt & I felt all cool because I bought a new anklet & lip gloss at the mall before heading out to the parking lot to ride the rides, eat our cotton candy & (hopefully) meet some boys. I don't remember meeting any boys that year (or any year for that matter) but man, do I still smile when I see the zipper. Maybe they'll have it at Riverton Town Days this weekend. If not, they'll for sure have it at the State Fair later this summer. I wonder if my stomach can still handle it. I tried to go on it a couple of summers ago & they wouldn't let me go on alone, and none of my family were eligable/willing to brave it with me. I think I could convince Brandon now. I'm hoping so. There may not be a Wonderland here in Utah, but where there is the zipper there is some summer fun!
*I'm not sure why when you first use my link to the Wonderland web site the pictures don't come up (at least for me) but if you click on overview it refreshes the page, pictures and all.

My List

Tired April = List time!

Instead of following one of the ones I've seen of late on other people's blogs I'll create my own. (Mostly because I feel like on some of those I have "wrong" answers when compared to my friends. (And I can't say I didn't inhale, but I can say it just made me feel way sick & I never EVER did it again. Ickorama.) There are other oddball answers, but we'll not go there. I don't want to become known as the naughty squirrel. lol

I'm listening to: Rob Thomas (...just another heartache on my list. I don't wanna be angry no more...)

I'd rather be: In San Francisco!

I'd like to shop at: IKEA (It's all Mary's fault.)

I need to improve: Lots of things. Lets go with pepsi consumption. I drink way too much pop. Need to work on that.

I like my: Feet! Only because I just painted my toenails pink. I like pink.

I melt when: Vern smiles. Love his dimples. And his blue eyes. Mmmmmm...

I've never tried: Sushi. Don't plan to either.

I'd like to try: Scuba diving!

I like the sound of: My children giggling. Heaven.

I like to look at: Will Smith! (Need a different answer from me for variation? How about house plan books/mags - I love to look at those.)

I cry when: Other people cry. During sad moments in movies too. Especially when it involves a mommy or daddy and child. Wah.

I look up to: The men & women who serve in our military. And their families. Absolutely admire them & am grateful for them.

I dislike: Chewies in meat. Feeling sticky & sweaty. The smell of fish.

I want to be seen as: A sincere person. A loyal friend. Someone worth knowing.

I wish I wasn't: Impatient.

I wish I was: 20 pounds lighter. Working on that.

I sing along to: Everything! My poor family...

Um, yeah. So I'm out of ideas. That took longer than I planned. Maybe next time I'll suck it up and answer one of those other questionnaire-type dealies going around on blogs. I guess I could just plead the fifth with some questions. ;)

...of the day

Quote of the day: "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." Bob Hope.

Word of the day: Squishy. I don't know why I like it but I do. Squishy squishy squishy.

Song of the day: As good as I once was by Toby Keith (Why, you ask? Because I love this line: "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was...)

Flavor of the day: Pina Colada Mmmmmmmm... (We have these yummy popsicle things & I have informed my children that the pina colada ones are mine all mine. Yummy.)

Photo of the day:

If it sticks, write about it.

Have you ever had a thought come to you, and hit you right in the heart so clearly that you couldn't let it go? That happened to me today. It prompted a train of thought that has followed me all day, so here I sit writing about it long past my bedtime.

This is the face that I was looking at today when I had the thought "I don't deserve you." And I meant it, but not in a negative way. It's just an understanding I have come to that there's an awesome privilege granted when a woman becomes a mother.
Elijah was cooing, smiling and gazing up at me when I said those words to him. It hit me solid, and I said it out loud. "I don't deserve you." This beautiful little human being was entrusted to me. Isn't that the most amazing gift? I think so. But as I enjoyed his innocent perfection I also had the feeling that I needed to be a better person in order to do right by him. Not that I'm a bad person, but I've been tired, full of excuses and well, just not 100% there, you know? Feeling like I'm not giving everything that needs it the attention & effort it deserves. Okay, so I know I'm not. I can do better. In many facets of my life. I may sometimes be able to be tired, overwhelmed or even just plain lazy on my own behalf in some areas, but my family deserves better from me. I would be happier too. And they benefit from that, believe me.
So I'm going to admit to you that I don't deserve him. BUT I am also going to admit to being so thankful for the opportunity I have to change that. And for those moments I have with my children where I see the purity and sweetness that we all were born with that sometimes we forget is inherent in everyone. I'm realizing it's time to wake up from whatever sort of funk I've been in and be the mother, the wife, the person that those around me deserve. And they deserve the best.

Fast-Forward

It's already Tuesday of this week? Unbelievable. Last week flew by too fast for me. I could swear I was just sitting outside watching the carpet guys put our new carpet in. That was Tuesday of last week though. I guess I lost a whole week in there somewhere. That does explain why the sunburn I got while sitting outside watching the carpet dudes do their thing is now itchy & dying to peel. Yep, a whole week. Poof. Part of me wants a rewind button, so I can see where the time actually went, and another part of me says no way - that'd only confirm I didn't accomplish much in the last 7 days. Makes me want to vow that I'll do more than just keep my head above water this week. That I'll excercise & spend quality time with my kids. That I'll take a few photographs just for me. That I'll get caught up on the ever-growing pile of laundry. I'd like to make that vow, but whoever it is with that finger on the fast-forward button had better be kind and give me a fighting chance. I mean, it's got to be their fault, right?

Happy Father's Day!

 Vern is a great dad. It's one of the things I love about him most. He does diapers, late nights, & early mornings. He's good to our kids. He provides for them, sets an example & teaches them. I think they appreciate him. I hope they do. They're lucky to have a dad that's as interested & involved in their lives as Vern is. I hope he has a great day. :)

Time Flies

My sweet Elijah turned 3 months old today.

A Good Laugh

So Vern bought me the Hitch dvd last night. It was the best laugh I've had in a long time! We all know I love Will Smith (yummers) and have since I was 12, but I must say I enjoyed this movie for more than just it's eye candy. ;) Absolutely hilarious, and highly recommended. Vern & I decided that my man Will rivals Eddie Murphy at his best in this movie - he's that good. :) If you haven't seen it yet, do. I promise you'll have a good laugh.

This Very Moment

I am holding Elijah at the moment. He's awake, happy and smiling that sweet smile. I just kissed his soft head. Mmmmmm...
Kirsten is teaching little Vern how to talk with a southern accent. Well, her version of one anyway. They are giggling, which always makes me smile. They are planning on going outside to play.
Brandon is reading a dragonlance book and waiting for Brian to come and help him put up his basketball hoop. He's excited to finally be putting it together.

Judging by what is going on at this very moment, today is going to be a great day.

Life at Four

At four you are still small enough & cute enough to get away with some things. And you are big enough and smart enough to utilize it. Daddy's heart melts when you look up at him and say please, and mommy will do all kinds of things for hugs and kisses. This makes you popular with older siblings, who have you be the lucky little spokesperson who gets to ask daddy if we can have pizza for dinner.
At four you find sheer bliss while playing outside with your friends. The neighbor's dirt pile is your castle, and you get to be a jedi, a king, a knight and a pirate all in one day. At four you can eat all of the corndogs you want without blinking an eye and somehow not get sick. You don't care that there's ketchup on your shirt & dirt on your nose. You run through the sprinklers in your underwear & the neighbors think you're cute. There is nothing to stop you from being you - the world hasn't yet imposed it's ideals.
Life at four looks pretty fun to me. And I get to witness it through you little Vern. I thank you for that, and for the sometimes nutty, always cute & oh so wonderful four year old boy that you are.

Busy Day

A busy Saturday makes for a tired April, so rather than trying to think of something to write about I'm going to go with a list...

12 Things I Liked About Today

1. Vern & I just played GW with Julie & Kyle. Fun!
2. Had yummy food at a family bbq earlier.
3. Little Vern hugged me told me he loved me. :)
4. We picked out carpet & it's being installed on Tuesday. (Hooray!)
5. Elijah was his usual sweet self. He makes my day every day.
6. It cooled down a touch & actually rained a bit. A nice change.
7. I slept in. Vern did too. Nice bonus there. :)
8. Brandon helped get the laundry done. Thanks B. :)
9. Went to Costco and got out of there without spending the usual $100+. (Inconceivable...)
10. Kirsten drew me a picture of our family. She made me taller than Brandon. :)
11. Watched Second Hand Lions. It had been awhile since we last watched it. Fun movie.
12. Robin checked in here again. :) Hi big sis!

So there you have it. All in all a great Saturday.

Five Words

I'm so glad it's Friday!
Happy Friday! Happy summer weekend! May you sleep in tomorrow and feel no guilt. Unless you're the morning type - then may you enjoy your Saturday morning while I sleep in. ;)

I love summer weekends. Taking the kids to the park. Going out for breakfast. Picnics. Slurpees. Vern (hopefully) home all day. Sticky little popsicle faces. Swimming pools & suntans. You know, spring may be pretty, but summer is fun & summer weekends are the best!

"Put the sprinkler on the lawn and run through with my gym shorts on..." (BNL)

I just might.

B, Little Miss, Jedi Master & Cute Stuff

Four reasons to smile. Four sources of hugs. Four beautiful faces. Four lives in my hands.

My Guy

This is Vern. He's mine all mine. :)

Hat days.

Another reason it is easier to be a guy. Bad hair day? Throw a hat on. Bedhead? Throw a hat on. No time to shower? Throw a hat on. See where I'm going here? You never know what a guy is hiding under that baseball cap. (I do know that those things smell awful after awhile...) I don't happen to look good in hats. If I wore one my friends would probably know something was up anyway. As a girl & a non-hat wearer if I have a bad hair day the world gets to witness it. Lucky me. Maybe I need to find me a hat for emergencies. I'll have to start pledging my support to the Toronto Blue Jays or something, so that nobody will suspect a thing. Might work.

Dedicated to my friend Nicole, who had a less than stellar run-in with her hairdresser yesterday, to her sister who fixed it, and to anyone out there lucky enough to have a hat to hide under.

I couldn't decide.

How hard can it be to pick a picture of yourself to put in your profile for your blog? That depends on the person, I guess. For me it was hard. I've gone back & forth all day and I'm still not sure. I want to make a good impression. On who? I mean, it's not like I have an audience in mind. Really, I don't suspect that people who don't know me are going to actually be reading this. And they know what I look like. So why does it matter? I asked my kids to choose their favorite out of the two possibilities & the decision was still split. The verdict was that I looked cool in one, pretty in the other. (I'll be paying them later...) So which image do I want to portray? If young was an option (without pulling out a really old picture) I'd probably choose that one, lol. So I put Brandon's choice in my profile. This one was Kirsten's choice. The one they said was "pretty" - I'm sharing it too, because for some reason, whoever you are that reads this, I want you to think I'm pretty. Silly I know, but true.

Elijah

For my first attempt at posting a picture I thought I'd share one of Elijah. He's 2 weeks old in this shot and sleeping peacefully in his baby papasan. See, I told you he's beautiful.

My children are my life.

I need to figure out where I'm going to have pictures hosted so that I can share some images of my children. They are my biggest source of happiness.
Brandon is almost 14. He's my helper. Taller than me, with a voice that seems to grow deeper by the minute, he's a remarkable young man. Very patient & giving, he's such a great big brother. He's walking proof that not all teenagers are obnoxious know-it-all types. He's funny, sensitive & darn cute if I do say so myself.
Kirsten, who's almost 8 is my artist. My day is not complete without a new drawing from her for my fridge. She sings, dances & looks much too pretty in pink. I would pay a lot of money for her haircolor, and she has the most beautiful eyes. I am sure that some day her daddy is going to have to buy a gun in her honor.
Little Vern is 4. When he's happy he's like walking sushine. When he's sad it breaks my heart. Everyone who meets him just loves him. He's blonde just like his daddy & knows both verses to "you are my sunshine" which he sings to Elijah daily.
Elijah is two months old now. Proof that time flies way too fast. He is such a beautiful baby. Yes, I know he's a boy, but trust me - at this age boys can be beautiful. He's a snuggly one & has the sweetest little smile, bluest eyes and softest peach-fuzzy head. Such a good-natured one too. (thankfully!) Yeah, I'm definately in love with my baby.
These four children (I still can't get over the fact that there are now four of them!) are my life. I can't imagine feeling at all complete without them here. They are very different from one another, yet they are all such amazing individuals. Just to be able to witness them, and be a part of their lives as they grow and become whatever they will is such an honor & a fulfilling aspect of my life. If I never accomplish anything else, I know that I did something truly amazing by bringing them into this world.

It's not that hard.

Really. It isn't. Two extra steps to put those socks into the hamper instead of on the floor. One extra minute to call home & say you're going to be late. The effort to put the toilet seat back down doesn't exactly strain one's back. I'd love to have more than a 5 minute warning that he's got someone coming over who will actually be forced to see the mess that is my house today. Speaking of the house, why is my bathroom sink covered in hair from him shaving again? Turn the faucet on & rinse it down the drain. It adds all of 15 seconds to the whole routine.
But then, he did come home with a surprise for me. Chocolate this time. Yum. And he did take care of Elijah so that I could hop online to play. Come to think of it, I'm not totally sure that I remembered to tell him that I love him today. Sorry - have to run. I just realized I have somewhere more important to be.

100 things

Favorites, things I enjoy, things that make me happy. Basically a list of the first 100 things that come to my mind at this moment.

1. pizza (should be here any moment)
2. Vern (The bearer of the pizza and a cute guy. I sorta like him.)
3. Elijah's soft peach-fuzzy head. Mmmmmmm...
4. Diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper. A mouthful, but a tasty one. :)
5. Pictures of my kids
6. pink nailpolish on my toes
7. sandals
8. You are my sunshine (sung by little Vern)
9. My squirrely friends.
10. San Francisco
11. Canadian Oreos
12. Pinch me (BNL - listening to it right now)
13. Brandon's dimples.
14. Swimming (the kind you do in a pool you squirrels...)
15. chillin at the Gateway
16. waterslides
17. vanilla scented anything
18. Milky Way caramels
19. Pottery Barn
20. Claw & Steel and Steel & Claw (good friends, fun times)
21. Elijah's smile
22. drawings by Kirsten
23. rollercoasters
24. oatmeal cookies
25. August
26. the Olive Garden
27. my camera
28. calla lilies
29. the Gap
30. Will Smith
31. the fifth element
32. walking down Yonge St. (in Toronto)
33. bottled water
34. alone time at the gym (for as many hours as Vern will let me)
35. mpix
36. Christmas lights
37. the Fourth of July
38. the Avenues
39. smoothies
40. weddings
50. scrabble
51. guild wars
52. the smell of baby lotion
53. Roots
54. a lake or pool- hot summer day - friends
55. Arinne
56. diamonds (and anything that resembles them)
57. quick-witted people
58. muscles
59. a good laugh
60. late nights
57. sleeping in
58. Vern's goatee
59. jeans that fit well
60. black licorice
61. Ellora
62. photoshop (a love/hate thing really)
63. eating out
64. creamsicles
65. the zipper
66. SGU
67. Swiss Chalet
68. Baptiste Lake (Ont. Canada)
69. Dancing
70. David Eddings
71. Park City
72. kissing
73. making lists
74. Target
75. Barnes & Noble
76. Writing
77. Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory
78. my pillow
79. sincerity
80. heart to heart talks with friends
81. blue, sagey green, purple... depends on the day
82. travel shows
83. rollerblading
84. sunsets
85. Becky Higgins
86. slurpees
87. rice crispy squares
88. Tennis
89. Hires Big H
90. PEPSI (in any form - diet, vanilla, twist, cherry...)
91. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers (amazing!)
92. Samwise Gamgee (everyone needs a friend like him)
93. pilates
94. memories from the Willowtree (and Friday night youth center at Cummer Valley!)
95. getting dressed up
96. Casa Loma
97. Steak Frites
98. Rachel Ray
99. my blue dress
100. people-watching

The beginning of my blog

I stopped to breathe today & realized how much I miss out on while my life goes rushing by. I want to slow down & savour every second. Capture & treasure little moments of bliss. I think there's a possibility for actual happiness in today's world. Imagine that.

Maybe a place to post images & write down thoughts will be a nice thing to have to help me remember some of those fleeting moments and perhaps share them with others.