"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."
~Immanuel Hermann Fichte

Monday, April 14, 2008

school's out, sunshine & a random sort of meme

My elementary school kiddos are off track for the next 2 weeks, and we’re finally seeing some beautiful weather. Well, the local snowboarders are happy too (gogo snow in April) but the valley is looking & feeling like Spring. Finally. :) I foresee some visits to the park and slurpee runs in the near future.
Meanwhile, it’s late and I’m too tired to think of stuff to write so I thought I’d fill out a meme. It’s a random-ish one that I grabbed off a blog - wish I remembered which one. :p Feel free to skip if you’re tired of learning stuff that you never wanted to know about me through these things. :)

1. Name one person you've lost touch with that you’d like to look up. Vivian. Love that girl & miss her. She found me here a long while back, but I lost track of her again. :(
2. Where are your favorite vacation spots? Hmmm… Does this require that I’ve actually been to said vacation spot? If so then maybe Baptiste Lake in Northern Ontario where we used to rent a cottage at for a week during the summer, or Niagara Falls where I spent many a weekend growing up. Really it was all about sunshine & water. Those 2 things make for a happy April.
3. Your thoughts on Low Carb/Sugar Free foods? There are some seriously yummy ice creams out there – Breyers comes to mind. Thanks to feeling out of whack lately I dusted off my little blood glucose monitor the other day. I don’t love poking myself, but knowing where I’m at is helpful. Looks like I may have to tweak my eating habits and find more low carb foods I like again. Go me?! Bring on the carrots, snap peas & strawberries. :p
4. Would you prefer chocolates or flowers from a loved one? Why aren’t kisses an option? I mean, I do like flowers and chocolate - but smile at me, hold my hand... kiss me and I’m a happy girl.
5. Have you ever danced/splashed/played in the rain? All of the above. The parking lot next to the townhouse I grew up in used to get these huge deep puddles when it rained hard. We’d go out and play in ‘em. Good times. :)
6. What did you dream about last night? Actually, I’m so not telling. ><
7. Name 4 mood-lifters. Chocolate malts, friends’ voices over vent, fresh air & exercise.
8. Name 3 things you love to eat but rarely do. Hmmm… Fettuccine Alfredo (so yummy but oh-so-fattening), Jamaican patties (they’re extremely hard to find in Utah) and rice noodles with beef (good Chinese food is also hard to find here).
9. What’s the most painful or life-changing thing that has ever happened to you? Physically or emotionally? The first thing that comes to mind is kind of both. I will say that emotional scars last longer than physical ones. I don't really talk about this stuff much though. Hmmm… Where to start? I guess near the beginning:
I was chronically plagued with sexual abuse throughout my youth. Certain boys in my neighborhood would grab me when I was walking home from school & I’d find myself pinned to the pavement behind a building or on a basement floor. Even got shoved into the boys’ locker room after school once in jr. high. Yelled my way out of that one though. (The guy I was totally crushing on was the one who heard me & came in and scared them all off. Yay!) My sister will attest that it got to the point that I’d answer the door with knife in hand when my mom wasn’t home. Not sure she knew why though – she may have just thought I was crazy. :p Anyway, when the big R-word happened in college I kinda reacted like it was my fault. Really, that was just a rough time for me. After years of being treated that way trying to find worth in yourself is not an easy task. I made it though. I decided that I was much more than what any dumb boys saw. The stress of HIV and pregnancy tests made me mad enough to decide once and for all that it wasn’t my fault, and Vern (the total opposite of every guy in my life to that point) whisked me away to Utah with results pending. Gotta appreciate the one that’ll see through the worst. Yeah, not something I ever really talk about, but there it is.
Now that's a long-winded answer. Apologies.

10. Name 3 things you’d like to do today. My dailies. Been slacking – it’s been a couple of days. Take some pictures of my kiddos. Enjoy some sunshine. It’s supposed to be mid-70s today. Yay!

Alrighty, what fun is an entry without a picture? Following the random theme, here's my babe...
Have a great day! :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just want you to know that I love you and miss you bunches and bunches!!! xoxoxoxo

Heather said...

Wow, April, I never knew that about you. I'm sorry you went through all of that. Makes me feel sad. But, you do have alot of self-worth. You have always been a good friend, and I know you are a great mom, too! You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I've never heard you talk about the r-word story in any detail. You've only mentioned it in passing. I knew enough to not be shocked though. People who don't know you well or who've only known you as an adult would probably never guess these things about you. Kind of sad actually. You have admirable strength lurking below the spaz that you like to be.